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Famous Demetri Martin Quotes and Jokes to Smile Again

Written by QuotesLyfe | Updated on: September 17, 2021

         

Famous Demetri Martin Quotes and Jokes to Smile Again

In this article, we present to you some of the famous Demetri Martin Quotes on Art, Love and more with their meaning.

Demetri Evan Martin is an American comedian, actor, director, cartoonist, and musician. He is known for his expressionless delivery of hilarious jokes, usage of guitar, and satirical cartoons. Currently, he is starring as the Ice Bear in the animated series We Bare Bears.

Martin started to stand up comedy in the year 1997. His debut in standup comedy is from Comedy Central's standup showcase, Premium Blend. He has recorded many comedy albums, starred in TV shows, and performed many stand up comedy routines. In 2009, he hosted and starred in his own television show called Important Things With Demetri Martin on Comedy Central, which also had a second season. Later it was announced the show wouldn't have a third season.

Martin also starred in the successful comedy film Taking Woodstock (2009), which also premiered at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival. Martin plays various instruments on stage, including his guitar, harmonica, piano, keyboard, glockenspiel, toy bells, ukulele, or tambourine. He also has music playing in the background of his performances to prevent any editing of his performances for television. Martin also released his first book, titled This Is a Book. His improvisation, one-liners, and drawings on a "large pad", as well as his jokes with music on guitar has given him a successful career in standup comedy. Below are some of the best Demetri Martin Quotes.

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful"

Events happening in the past were finite. But future possibilities are endless. Whatever you do in the present determines your future. We, of all people, have the ability to change the events in our future. The future is hopeful.

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

A know it all person is very difficult to tolerate. However intelligent or knowledgeable anyone is, they shouldn't be arrogant about it. Here Demetri is sarcastically implying that a know-it-all is aware of everything except for how annoying they are.

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

Here Demetri is calling out the people who buy their way into winning. It makes no sense to try when your competition is cheating their way in. Demetri is mocking the people who cheat by saying that he used to work hard and play sport, then realized a lot of people buy their way in. He implied that now he is also good at everything since he started to do the same.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Employees of the month are often stereotyped slogging their entire time in the office or the institution they work at. They forget to live their life to the full extent and enjoy life. Hence they are considered winners as well as losers at the same time. Winner in their workplace and a loser at living life.

Some more Demetri Martin Quotes...

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Often people would hold up lighters in the crowd during a concert. It's usually dark at concerts if they're inside, and the combined light is like a way of showing support or enthusiasm for a song being played. 

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

A lot of times, people offer unsolicited advice, which no one has asked for. This unnecessary advice may confuse people who are taking crucial life decisions. So it is always better to avoid such advice. Often a straight-up 'no' might offend people. Therefore, it is okay to hear it out and then decide if you want to implement it. Hence Demetri is saying that the 'yes' which is said out of respect for the other person in response to a piece of unsolicited advice, is actually a 'no'. 

Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.

In any relationship, giving the other person the space they deserve is very important. Supporting the person and also giving them space might be a difficult thing to do. But being able to maintain this balance is what counts as trying. Here sharing this important piece of advice, Demetri is lightening the atmosphere saying, as eyebrows, relationships should also have space.

The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

Improvisation is an act of spontaneous creation. It helps you make choices and live in the moment. Any artist who can improvise his art is extremely talented. Surveying the crowd, atmosphere, and audience and making decisions on what to say or do needs you to attain expertise in your field of art. The easiest way to obtain feedback is improvisation. Then and there, you can judge how that particular piece of art has worked out based on people's expressions.

Few more Demetri Martin Quotes...

As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.

The definition of art changes every day; what the audience likes changes every day. So progressing your art according to the world is an artist's compulsion. As the world goes, it is important to change according to it. Being progressive in your art will only ensure the artist's safety.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

Just like a painting is a splatter of colours on a canvas turned out beautifully. Similarly, a joke is a beautiful combination of words that emerged out comically. A joke is a combination of different absurd ideas that sound aesthetically pleasing together.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Cameras help us to capture moments. Memories could be forgotten but the photos cannot perish. These captured memories could be savored from time to time. However fast things around us move, it is always beneficial to look back in the past and not forget where we come from. It helps to look from a different perspective. Every picture has a beautiful story that it tells. 

Once I started to look I finally began to see.

Once you start looking into something, it is then that you discover the actual facts. People might tell you bits about a certain story, but you would never find out the entire story until and unless you start looking into the matter.

100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.

Here Demetri is mocking the people who often don't realize what they are saying. In their excitement to express themselves, people blabber things without meaning. When people say they are giving their 110%, it is not mathematically possible. 100% literally means per cent, meaning how much out of 100 units. So logically, if you have 100 units of something, you cannot give 110 units. Likewise, the best you can give is 100%, and anything above that would be mathematically incorrect. 

The "earth" without "art" is just "eh."

Here Demetri is stating the importance of art in life. Art is not a necessity to survive, but it is a necessity to live a lifetime. With life, the monotonicity of life won't be bearable. All kinds of art can positively affect our mood, making us feel happier or even inspired to do something. The art that we are surrounded by has a huge impact on our mood and emotions.

Continue reading some more Demetri Martin Quotes...

I think a treehouse is really insensitive. That's like killing something and then making one of its friends hold it.

Here Demetri is finding the absolutely normal concept of treehouses weird. Implying that since trees have life in them, cutting them should technically be considered murder. On top of that, the strongest branch is made to hold the whole house whose wood used could be friends with the branch. Being a typical standup comedian, he imagines these weird scenarios and still makes sense in his own way.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Right. Okay. And, tell me again how a silver lining helps me?

 We hear a lot of motivating things. But more or less, these words don't make a lot of difference in our life. So even if every cloud has a silver lining or everything bad has something good in it. We are just concerned about the problem at hand and don't really care about the "silver lining".

The definition of adventure depends upon how boring your life is.

Everyone's definition of an adventure is different. For seemingly "boring" people, even a small activity can also be deemed as an adventure. However small or large the adventure is, it is important to not make our life mundane.

I need to develop some patience - immediately.

This sarcastic statement of Demetri is a contradiction in itself. Learning patience will require patience, you cannot inculcate this habit immediately. Saying you want to inculcate it quickly shows the lack of patience you have.

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying,' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

Here Demetri is making fun of the English language, where the context of a word is more important than the word to know the meaning of the sentence. Saying "I am sorry" or apologizing is basically the same thing. Only in the case of a funeral, these two words differ in their meaning. While saying sorry just indicates our condolence, saying I apologize means you plead guilty of something, more likely something related to the death.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.

Even though jigsaw puzzles or books increase our knowledge and sharpen our brain, it is also important to be physically fit. If you finish a 40,000 piece jigsaw, that means you have been caught up in completing it for a long time and have forgotten to go out, absorb the sun and just relax.


         

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