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Best Phyllis Diller Quotes and Sayings Ever

Written by QuotesLyfe | Updated on: April 04, 2021


Best Phyllis Diller Quotes and Sayings Ever

In this post, we list some of the famous Phyllis Diller quotes and sayings with their meaning.

Phyllis Ada Diller was a well known American stand-up comedian, actress, author, and also musician. She is well known for her cracking humor and her unconventional stage presence.

Diller was one of the first solo female comedians in the U.S. to become a known personality. She realized that making people laugh is a powerful art form. As Diller was a progressive woman, she inspired many female comedians, including Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr, and many others. 

From the start of her career, she had a huge gay following. She had once said that her first audience was gay people as they have a great sense of humor. In her memoir Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in a Comedy, she mentions that she enjoys the company of gay men.

After her 80th birthday, she had begun to suffer from various ailments. She had to cancel her appearance on Tonight Show, which she had planned to celebrate her 90th birthday. At the age of 95, Diller died at her home in Los Angeles on the morning of August 20, 2012. 

Her way of dressing, comic persona and humor will always be missed. Her death is truly a huge loss.

And now, let us look at some of her quotes which will surely chuckle your bones.

A smile is a curve that sets everything right.

Smile is one of the cheapest and yet the strongest language, which brings immense joy at the hardest hours of misery. It is a powerful speech that can turn war into peace.

When you smile, it makes things easier and brings much more joy. A simple smile makes your day a little better for everyone that you come across. It is a friendly gesture that can turn any enemy into your foe.

So, keep smiling and keep glowing.

I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.

Diller was a person who often likes to speak her mind. She knew what she wanted and what was right.

She always wanted to know her true self. At all times, she desired to find herself. Not everyone in this world tries to find out oneself. As knowing yourself gives a sense of purpose.

She wanted to understand herself better. And this way of living your life is truly motivating. She recognized this way and started living her life.

So, find yourself and determine your path towards happiness.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

People generally want to end up with someone who will last for a long time. They want their relationship a one to last forever.

She says that no matter how you look, marry someone who is your age. The logic to this statement is that if you marry someone your age, then the difference in their mentality reduces.

Women are often obsessed with the way they look. She says to not worry as when you will feel less beautiful, so will your partner lose his eyesight. It simply means that you both will grow old at the same time.

So, forget about your looks and marry the one you want.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Nowadays, people tend to stay angry for a long time. They end up getting angry for no reason. This quote is well a reminder of all those never-ending fights.

It's okay to be angry but never stay mad. Before going to bed, sort out your misunderstanding. Hang on and fight it out if speaking doesn't work in your case.

Fuller says it's better to sort out rather than postponing the fight. If you keep on procrastinating, then things may get ugly. And one fine day it will surely get exploded.

Therefore, get up and fight if necessary as it is difficult to maintain a relationship nowadays.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration; set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

In this fast-paced life, we often have cramped up emotions hidden inside us. Instead of venting it out on others, the technique of Diller is the best one to remember.

She says that she has a perfect way of simmering it down whenever she gets angry or is disappointed. She has explained her technique in this quote. 

Just go to the kitchen for about twenty minutes as that is enough to set your mood. And then cry and shout as much as you want until all your anger disappears. Don't stop until your pent up emotions cool down. Then, you will surely feel better. 

So, try this technique all those times when you're truly pissed off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

This quote is true in both philosophical and literal way. As if you shoot low, there is a chance you may hurt your feet. So it is sensible to aim your foot high.

Similarly, if we aim high, there is a chance you may not reach there, but we surely will not fall low. When we dream big, we surely work hard to achieve our goal. There will be no space for procrastination and laziness.

If we do not aim high, we will not be motivated to work hard and achieve our dreams. So, dream big and make the impossible a possible one.

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.

Fuller was the first women stand up comedian. She was one of those who was criticized for her way of speaking. 

She often spoke her mind, which was not appreciated often by people around her. During those times, her humor was not given credit which was required. People would always find faults in whatever she did.

She says that there is no basis for criticism as people from any walk of life started judging stand-up. People are always quick to judge stand-up comic. Even a singer gets the credits even if the song goes out of his hand.

Hence, she says that one should judge the things of which you are not capable.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

People are forgetful creatures in this world. So, they end up making the same mistake twice. 

In this quote, she mainly talks about the world of marriage. In marriage, people often forget simple things and later on end up doing things that they are going to regret.

She says a bachelor is a guy who doesn't repeat the same mistake once. As he doesn't have a sense of responsibility and can live his life carefreely. So, he remembers most of the things.

Hence, even when you are married, remember important things and still be a bachelor.

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

To avoid instability in one's life, changes need to be made almost constantly.

Change is something that is the only constant thing. If there is no change, then the way you present yourself or your personality will always remain the same.

Diller was a person to liked to evolve instantly into a better version of herself. She liked to change as time passes through. So, in this quote, she has quoted saying that it is an awful thing as nothing much happened to her last night.

To grow constantly as a person, change is necessary to be thankful for the changes that happen as they surely mean something.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Pro is the Latin word that is the short form for professional. A professional is someone who is great at something.

People tend to make simple mistakes in life. And sometimes this mistake may cost a huge loss to us. We may get upset and feel insulted due to our silliness.

When a person sees another person stumbling in life, they start laughing. This quite a common scene in our life. So if a professional tells you to keep your head while he is laughing, then it is not to make you feel upset.

It's okay to laugh but do make others feel like an inferior person.

You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!

Diller was truly a person known for her comic timings. This quote is one of those quotes where her comic sense is at its peak.

She says that when everything goes according to your plan and everything is perfect; there is no comedy space. But when at a wedding someone steps on a bride's veil or when somebody knocks down the buffet at the wedding, then it is perfect comic timing.

She has always enjoyed comedy, so she urges us to laugh when the moment itself presents our laughter.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. 

Diller's every quote has a humorous twist to it. As far as this quote is concerned, I believe ironing is given a sense of humor.

She was a person known for clothes, hair, and even her eccentric stage presence. People always loved her for the person she was. People not only looked forward to her performance but also the way she presents herself.

In a way, she referred to ironing as her wrinkles on her skin. She has humorously defined her age and compared ironing to it. 

My photographs don't do me justice- they just look like me.

This quote has two parts that are quite opposite of each other. These two statements are contradictory to one another.

The first half of the statement tells us that sometimes the photos taken are not as great as the original ones, and hence, they do not do any justice to you.

And the next part says that the photos look like the original. I believe it simply contradicts the first one as the photos will surely look like you. A photo cannot change you; maybe editing can be done, but it's still you.

It is nothing but a play with her words and that too with a comic twist.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

Knowing what is right for you is always a difficult task to predict. Then, do you think finding the right one will be easy?

Like every one Diller too wondered how she would know the right one. Finding a person who is right for you is quite difficult. As we have to spend our whole life with that person.

But as you know her personality, a pinch of humor is present in this quote. She says the task was too easy for her as only the right person came to her.

Finding the right person can be difficult but when the right person comes along, life becomes too easy.

No matter what time your guests arrive pretend they're early, so naturally, you're not ready. 

It's a human tendency to be unprepared when guests arrive at our house. No matter how much we prepare, a feeling of incompleteness still exists.

This quote is an idea to be calm in these situations. So, no matter what time your guests arrive, try to be relaxed. Think that the guests have arrived a little too early.

And then naturally, you are not ready. So, it becomes too easy, and you can be calm. Therefore, do not fret and receive your guests warmly.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

In today's time, people are always hooked on outer beauty. They forget that beauty also means our inner beauty.

Beauty is just a pleasing experience but not a guide to how the person behaves. Physical beauty is superficial; the thing that truly matters is the character of the person.

She says that it is a good thing that beauty doesn't define a person or else she would have to behave dishonestly. She is thankful as she can be the way she wants.

Therefore, treasure yourself as being you is the only way to present yourself.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

When people achieve success, it gets to their head. They often forget who they were and behave the way they want to. 

Know that success is temporary. It is simply a journey but not a destination. And when you pretend to be someone else, everything starts to fall.

When you feel overwhelmed, look in the mirror. The mirror is a thing that tells you who you are. It is a place where you can uncover all your masks.

So, when you forget who you are, take a look at the mirror.

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

Beach is a place where the tide is often washed on the shore. It is a place where the wind meets water. A place where a person's destiny often changes.

The tides often hit the wave as a result of the moon's gravitational pull on the earth. Diller says that when she goes on the beach, even the tides are scared of her.

The tide won't reach out to her. She can enjoy the beach as much as she can. Her personality is such that even tides do not affect her.

Self-pity is better than none.

Self-pity is something that is not good or bad it is an emotion that we for ourselves. It's okay to feel sorry for ourselves.

But the more we feel sorry for ourselves, the more we keep repeating all those mistakes. It is a feeling which is quite normal and understandable. It is quite natural to feel bad for ourselves when we are going through hard times.

It becomes quite problematic only when self-pity takes over you. So, it's okay to acknowledge the problems you are going through.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall.

They say that when people drink, their true feelings are revealed. People are likely to say the truth when they are intoxicated. 

Drinking is not a good habit. People sometimes get too drunk that they often forget themself. They start giving honest and unfiltered options, which at times hurt people.

Health gets affected when people drink too much. Suddenly everything becomes too affected, and it starts to fall. Both health and relationships get damaged. So, look after your health and take care of all relations.

Phyllis Diller was truly a woman of a kind. She lived her life the way she wanted. She loved comedy and enjoyed people laughing at her jokes. She took everything with a pinch of salt. She believed in the woman she was.

So, believe in yourself and give back a slice of humor.


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