This thought has gnawed at my peace more than anything else. Whenever life throws something remotely stressing, I find myself reaching deep into my soul for a hint of confidence so I can boldly accept the challenge. Why some of us can easily stick to the guns without breaking a sweat while others have to muster a lot of confidence to get through a simple day.
Some part can be explained by how we are wired differently. A study shows some amount of a person’s confidence may be linked to his DNA after all. So is that it? Some of us are born to strut around confidently while others are doomed to insecurities and sweaty palm! Not exactly. These confidence genes can only boost so much (25% to 50%) of your confidence.
For rest, we have to build our immune system against the jitters.
Here are 15 Simple confidence techniques to rule the world
Suppose you are shy and feel painfully awkward when in social gatherings. Hell, it even feels a lot of work to hang out with friends. Next time instead of searching for excuses to cancel on them try being compassionate towards them. As actress Ruby Rose says when a woman compliments others on her beauty or style, nothing says more about how confident she is in her skin. Not superficial praise. You need to find within you, love and kindness for all human beings. And I genuinely believe that in all of us there is always some grain of commendation for others. We just need to dig deeper.
How to overcome shyness? Be compassionate, A simple act of compassion can instil confidence not just in you but also in others.
THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE
Next time you are searching for confidence before a college presentation or office meeting, remember they are just people – who mostly feel the same insecurity.
How to be confident in a presentation: Remember they are just people like you and can't physically hurt you.
LOOK YOUR BEST
Confidence is one of those things that can be manifested outside and will find its way within you. I find that most women are stuck in a pathetic cycle of low self-esteem when it comes to their look. They generally don't pick out the best of dresses because they don't think they can pull it off and might seem shrieking-for-attention, which leads to bad choices reinforcing their low confidence.
Life is too short not to wear LBD with red lipstick!
But yes, before that…
FIND YOUR BEAUTY
Physical appearance is often the heart of our low self-esteem. For some of us, nothing can be more daunting than looking someone into their eyes and let them absorb all our spots and creases. No matter your best power suit, you will never measure up to much in front of your clients without confidence. You need to accept your body in all its glory as well as a flaw. And then own it!
How to be as beautiful as Priyanka Chopra? All you need to wear is your confidence.
And how she finds her confidence, by doing what calms her.
WHAT CALMS YOU
Indulge in what calm your nerves. Be it calming music or run-through of your favourite romcom, make time for it.
Try mindfulness. Become aware of your emotions and body response when you are losing confidence. Mindfulness and meditation won't reap immediate results but is a gradual process and change your life dramatically over time.
Many people try a small session of visualisation before falling asleep or after waking up. It works hypnotically and suggests your subconscious mind the feeling of confidence. Some even try talking to themselves in the mirror and doing affirmations like You are beautiful, confident and amazing.
Just like meditation, this too reflects later but powerfully.
Nothing great was ever achieved without unbending belief. You want to prove your worth to your manager? You want to show your parents that you can be trusted with your career and need more independence? Or you are the manager, the mother who feels life spiralling out?
You need to believe in yourself. Remember there is nothing you can’t do once you put your back and soul into it. Follow through your plans and promises. Believe in your family, in their strengths.
How to be a successful entrepreneur? Belief in your team.
That will give them the confidence to work harder and the same will give you the confidence to remain on track.
HAVE YOUR STRENGTHS UP YOUR SLEEVE
Be aware of your strengths. Take all the praises graciously and wear them on your skin, let them take care of you whenever in self-doubt.
ALL YOUR DEAR ONES
Keep your family and friends close. Spend time with them. More time spent with people who love you and validate you, the real you, work wonders for your confidence.
Social Anxiety is significantly lessened when you are with a close friend or a family member.
The famous quote by American footballer, Emmitt Smith says- All men are created equal, some work harder in the preseason.
Nothing can compensate for hard work and training. Be equipped with the tools and information you will need. If you know in your heart of hearts that you gave everything you had, did everything you could and you spared no effort, you will march head high into the arena.
ACCEPTING YOUR FAILURES
Life is messy, and no matter how much you prepare, there is always a chance that you can fail. Accept it. It will give you enough confidence to get started with the work and not descend into the paralysis of uncertainty.
We often forget that important things like confidence, are just abstract quality. It is just a few actions, or more the style of them that people perceive as confidence.
Like if you see a dancer performing in front of thousands with a big beautiful smile making his audience go crazy. You will say that’s a confident dancer. But if you see from a dancer’s point of view. I am just focusing on music, on my steps, trying to find a rhythm and enjoy.
How to feel more confident at work? Focus on the task to be done. That’s all.
Keep a wider perspective in your life. A little bit of philosophy can do some good. It's just a meeting, just a presentation, just a party, just another day at school. Not the end of the world. If you fail, big deal! Do your best and leave rest to God or just leave it!
Thoughts are the sneakiest villains out there and can be the most detrimental ones.
You have to be aware of them. The only way, as suggested is mindfulness. Also, remember that you can't stop them from entering your head but you can be aware of them when entering and what reaction they cause in your body and mind. Give it a few minutes, don’t get carried away by the emotions and soon the thoughts will pass.
Now I don’t know why I can't find this point in any confidence-boosting techniques. Because I honestly believe it works like a magical charm. If you are lucky enough to find someone who can love you with no reservation, who hangs on your every word and makes you feel safe and protected. Your self-esteem should already be shooting for the sky!
And if you are not in such a point in your life, keeping yourself surrounded with secret admirers, does give you enough boost to get out of bed every morning. Of course, I am not asking you to string them along. Just gloat on the fact that someone adores you.
Always remember, building natural confidence is a process and takes time. Have patience. So, last but not the least-
AGE- As you grow older and start learning the ways of the world, find your interests, find your people, your niche, have toughened through failures, you will become more confident. As Sir Anthony Hopkins tells what makes him feel confident is- Just still being around.
Co-author: Shreya Arya
A digital marketing enthusiast with experience in HR and hospital management, Shreya has wide interests ranging from philosophy, psychology to latest trends in automation. She is also a freelance content writer and loves lending beautiful words to ideas and feelings.