A Woman's life changes dramatically after the wedding. In Indian culture, she has to leave her home, routine, lifestyle, and the comfort with which she lives in her parents' house. They have to change their surnames and sometimes name too. Apart from being a wife, she has to be a good daughter-in-law, house manager, and in the future, a mother also. Life after marriage is like a new venture for them. Aside from older responsibilities, she gets a new and challenging one on her shoulder. Women's life changes drastically after marriage. She has to keep her in-laws happy; from being a care-free and independent girl, she now has to become responsible and depend on in-laws for every small decision in their lives. She has to manage both works at her office and home. After marriage, she gets a bundle of responsibilities without realizing she can handle it or not.
So, here is the list of few changes a girl/woman goes through post-wedding.
1) She becomes more mature, responsible, and dependable
Yes, marriage makes girls more reliable and responsible. After marriage, you are answerable, not just for your husband but your in-laws too. Before the wedding, you could work or party late and wake up past noon. On weekends, you could chill out with your friends, family. If you are tired and not in a mood to cook, you can go outside to eat or order something for you. But now everything changes, you cannot do what you want.
You lose the kid or innocence in you and have to behave maturely. Sometimes you have to manage the whole house and entire kitchen work. You are the one who is responsible for everything. You get dependent on them for little things you want to do in your life. Your priorities change, from being your favourite, others take that place.
2) Career becomes her Second Priority and takes a backseat
After getting married, the first and foremost priority of a woman is her family. Career takes second place, as she has to fit in with a new family and adjust with them. She gets the responsibility of the whole house; she has to meet the in-laws family's expectations. After the wedding, her way of looking at life changes, and so does her focus. Though she might be very good at managing personal and professional life, there are also functional changes. For example, she works very hard in the office to get a promotion and a salary hike, but she has to leave all this because her husband gets transferred to another city.
Things become more onerous once she has got kids. Sometimes she is bound to take leave from work to manage kids. However, if one is determined and focus, she resumes her work sooner or later. Some women don't get support from her in-laws; hence she is left with no option than quitting.
3) Way of Decision-Making Changes
Before marriage, decision making is reasonably manageable. You can hang out with your friends anytime; you can take rest after hectic schedule without asking anyone. You need not have to think about which friends to go out and party. You can work late at night in the office to impress your boss and ascend the career ladder. You can party late and then wakeup accordingly. Chilling out with friends is no longer an option for you. You need to seek permission from your in-laws to meet your friends and even your parents. You think twice before spending money on yourself if you are not working. You sacrifice your desires and start to fulfil theirs. You begin understanding about issues of money, family, friends, and a job. After marriage, you begin to start living in an entirely different world. In short, your life gets wholly dedicated to them.
4) Dressing Style Changes
One of the biggest problems of every married woman is that "you cannot wear what you want". Your clothes are chosen by your in-laws family. You cannot wear clothes which suits you, or you feel comfortable. What type of clothes will be relevant for you to dress to meet your family and friends and whatnot, is all decided by them, and you are forced to follow them. Rules are stated for you and have to be followed. They have to forget about their love for pyjamas and t-shirts, pants or jeans. In some families, though it is more comfortable, they understand you and don't want you to dress conservatively. They may be generous and are okay with the type of clothes you want to wear.
Some girls are even rejected if she says she would not change her dressing style according to them. So, at last, she has to compromise and agree with them. In some families, they want the woman to wear saree and even cover her head. You end up looking like "Aunt", but who cares. You cannot dress stylishly and cannot do things according to the latest trend. It not only makes her down but also she begins to lose her confidence. She now no longer looks flawless, and cannot accept herself in front of the society.
5) Lack of Personal time and Space
After marriage, she has no time to pursue her hobby, develop a skill, time to read, time to pamper herself, go on solo vacations, and so on. She is either having no time to do all this or is left with no energy to pursue these tasks. They are now loaded with responsibilities of in-laws, have to keep the home running, spend time with husband and his family to bond with them, do household chores, or have long working hours at the office. So you end up with lack of time and energy to persevere your hobbies. Your social life almost doubles, with his family and yours, his friends and yours, it leaves you with no time left for yourself.
Personal space is the time which is about chilling, relaxing, thinking about yourself, or perhaps not doing anything. Once she has got kids, she is left with no "me time". This is something that the majority of women complain about after she gets married. Her life routine after the wedding is- taking care of the husband, his family, household chores, child care and so forth. Life after marriage leaves women with very little me time.
6) Patience and Maturity becomes her Traits
Before marriage, you can show your anger if you argued with your parents, siblings. You can behave naively like you can say no to work assigned to you if you are not in a good mood. If you feel lethargic, you can take rest and do that work later. Things get changed after marriage, and it doesn't go the same way with in-laws. You will need to be more tolerant and serene about things. You are taught by your parents to behave civilly and overlook things at in-laws home.
It's ubiquitous to argue because your's and their thinking might not be the same. But you are expected to behave maturely and understand things. Earlier you can keep your points in your family if you disagree with them. But now you are demanded not to argue and cultivate blobs of understanding and self-control. You have to agree with them and smile politely even at things you don't like. Also, you are expected to behave according to your husband's mood like if he is not in a good mood, you should understand that and act correspondingly.
7) Think before Speaking her Mind
With your family and friends, you can talk about anything openly and without any hesitation. You speak without care. You can put forth your opinions and discuss your point of view smoothly. You don't have to weigh your words before conversing. If you discord with them, you can debate and stick to what you feel is right. You know how to handle each other. Your family knows you in and out, and you always have a way of dealing with things with them.
Things are different with in-laws; you do not have that level of comfort and openness with them. You have to think before you are speaking your mind. You cannot convey your opinions so honestly. With time you learn how to share your disappointments and resentment generously. It's okay, but sometimes it leaves you frustrated and annoying. Hence you end up being loaded with distress and grief.
8) Weight gain becomes a Major Problem
Women often complain about weight gain after marriage. Lifestyle changes and changes in eating habits are one of the major contributing factors. Apart from this, hormonal changes, little time for exercise, stress at workplace and home, changes in priorities all are the significant contributing factors.
They get so much involved in routine household chores that they don't get enough time to look after themselves. Daily office and home management leave them with no time and energy for exercise or workout. Working more leads to increased appetite and inturn more food consumption. Late-night cravings do play a significant role.
9) A Married Woman feels Secured
So far, we have discussed the challenges a woman has to face after marriage, now let's discuss the pros. With your partner, you feel secured mentally, physically, financially, emotionally and socially, and it's something very precious. You sort of feel confident about yourself. You can share your secrets, discuss your problems, both personal and professional; you are way more comfortable with him.
If you get stuck somewhere, you have someone at your back to hold you, encourage you, cheer you. In all, you are never really alone. You have a friend, a lover, a partner, a mentor, a guide in the same person. You need not have to worry about things because he is always there for you in ups and downs. When you have kids, they share responsibility with you to take care of them. The couples get committed and work as a team for their well-being. This brings a sense of closeness and attachment, which is unmatchable.
10) Family becomes the first Priority in her Life
Marriage changes your priorities in life. Earlier your friends used to be your best companions. You used to hang out with them, had ample time for them. Now things get changed. Your husband's friends, family and cousins are the one's you usually socialize with. Now your outings are with your husband's gang, cousins or spouse. You are no longer readily available to your friends. You start giving them excuses about your time and availability. You are less inclined towards their problems and try to run away from them because now you don't have much time to discuss their life problems.
You cannot rush to them if they need your support. You have less time and energy for all this stuff. It generally happens because now your circle increases apart from your family and friends; you now also gain relatives from your husband's side. You may be putting your time and energy into your relationship with your husband and family.
11) She gets Careful about spending money
Married woman gets more concerned about unnecessary expenses. She becomes a money saver. They learn to curtail their expenses and start saving. Marriage makes them more mature, and they begin to think about future thus begin to make investments. They know how to become a money manager and practice budgeting. Woman know-how to make things look better without spending so much. She uses her creative mind to make things look lovely with fewer expenses.
They save money for more important things which might be anything or even start to save for kid's education. She changes her way of living and tries to save how much is possible. As a couple, she helps her husband in money management. Joint efforts make a couple more aware of their spending habits and bring down sudden expenditure. When both partners are working, you can manage things easily like you can invest one's salary and use other ones for standard requirements. Thus after the wedding, you begin to pay more attention to your finances.
12) Her Possessive Nature fades
Before marriage, a woman is more possessive when it comes to her man. She cannot tolerate any other woman hitting on her husband. She tends to look at another woman as their adversary and is very conscious about them flirting with her guy. She feels insecure and shows little obsessive behaviour. She always keeps her eyes on her guy and is very protective of her. Woman tend to be envious of another woman and tries to keep her husband far from them.
But after the wedding, she feels more secure about their relationship and develops a sense of confidence in herself. She is now no more worried about her husband's women's friends. This brings a sense of positive change in her and is also a huge energy saver.
13) Personal and Professional Expertise
After marriage, she becomes the best version of herself. They both celebrate their successes together. Your spouse success becomes yours, and vice versa. You become more self-confident and self-reliable. Your husband appreciates you for little things you do for him, and this brings positivity. You feel open and confident about new experiences. You start trying your husband's interests and yours.
Marriage makes you understand things better, makes you work harder, develop patience. Your professional life also gets better as you can discuss your opinions and ideas with him and decide what's better. You have someone to rely on. You try to learn new things to make them happy. In all, you end up being more skilled in both personal and professional front.
14) Bonding with Parents gets much stronger
Every girl is her parent's princess. She is very much loved and pampered at her parent's home. All her wishes are always fulfilled. She is everyone's favourite, be it her father, mother, grandparents or siblings. She is the joy and precious one of her home. Every time she visits them, she gets so much love and attention.
Though her parents love her so much always, after the wedding, their love and affection almost double. She is very much pampered at her home. Her parents value her even more because they miss her so much and are always there for her. At your parent's place, you are a different person who is loved so much and cared much. After marriage, you realize all the efforts your parents did to make you happy and appreciate that. Parent's love is truly unconditional and irreplaceable.
15) Identity Crisis becomes an Issue
After marriage, losing your identity becomes a significant issue. You have to homologize to a new lifestyle, eating habits, house culture, and everything after leaving your home. It brings a sense of loss of identity. In some communities, they even change the first name of their daughter in law. Earlier, women's were considered to be the property and had no legal rights. Now things have changed to some extent, but still, there are such stereotypical families around the globe.
Thus a woman undergoes so many changes after marriage. She learns to survive, adjust, accommodate, and live a flourishing life even after so many sacrifices.
This article covers various pros and cons of married life. It highlights both positive and negative aspects of life post-marriage. Certain things need to be modified to ensure freedom and good connectivity with the new family so that women feel comfortable and find it easy to adjust to new changes. I hope this article helps people to change their thinking a bit and influence them positively. Try to build a bond free of hatred.
Banner Image Credits : Shutterstock