The Olympics are great. For two weeks we become absolutely fascinated in these people we've never heard of before and will never think of again.

Anyone know any long-term couples living three time zones apart?

The genre [of hard-partying girls] seems to have gone out of style - instead of young women who drink too much, it's young women who don't eat enough.

Senators don't really provide good gossip - until they do, and then it's an A1 story and they're out of a job.

Who told you that your journey is a thousand miles?

My God! My God! What will the country say?

Yes, God uses the uneducated to confound the wise. But that doesn't make ignorance a virtue.

Nobody knows really what they're doing and there's two ways to go with that information. One is to be afraid and the other is to be liberated, and I choose to be liberated by it.

We can't live in a state of perpetual doubt, so we make up the best story possible and we live as if the story were true.

Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.

It is time to rekindle the spirit of the Renaissancee to achieve a golden age that will be a turning point for human productivity and quality of life.

Not many people are true, fake as the lies they tell

If there be a faith that can move mountains, it is faith in one's own power.