If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

If Time travel were possible, the future would have already taught the present to teach the past how to do it.

The book the snowman was the best book I have ever read it had suspence durring the whole book it was AWSOME!!!

Truth is the most powerful thing in the world, since even fiction itself must be governed by it, and can only please by its resemblance.

I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone.

Shuttered like a fan no-one suspects your shoulder blades of wings.

Mob guys had muscle, and where in hell do you think employers got the tough guys when they wanted to break a strike?

I've spent the better part of the last twenty-five years doing a lot of traveling.

THE autumn of 1850 brought an event freighted with deep significance to me. My mother died.

The annual output of carbon emissions is 25 billion tonnes and Global Cool's goal is to reduce it by one billion tonnes a year.

I love people where, at the end of the day, they'll pick up a paintbrush and paint clouds. They can physically make things.