I’m not sure a real man would smoke something that sounds like a mixed drink ice cream cone.

Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, In that case, you should always be a unicorn.

I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all.

Aw, you’re nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?

If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I’m going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.

Faye, if you got eaten by another shark, would you please at least have the decency to say so? My time is kind of limited, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Turns out making a dramatic exit is a lot harder when you have to stand there and wait another twenty minutes for a boat to dock.

Enjoy your little run because there’s no way you get off this boat without her trying to slice your Achilles in half.

The words ‘drink me’ come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?

Oh, Alice, you haven’t even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time’s right I don’t think I’ll have to ‘try’ to have my way with you. I just WILL.

Have you thrown ‘Why is a raven like a writing desk?’ at her yet?

I pay the School Master but 'tis the school boys that educate my son.

Everything that happens is God's will. When you realize that, you're home free.

Jackie Chan, I've known him, he's a great guy. I know he's very watchable and fun. He's perfect, actually.

Baby she look like a star, but only on camera, only on camera, only on camera.

It's a relationship I went through that collapsed my entire view of the world in a very extreme way.

I really do believe in the New Jerusalem. I really do believe that we can all become better than we are. I know we can. But the price is enormous and people are not yet willing to pay it.

[Adoption] could turn you into an exquisite comedian. Ask Richard Pryor's ghost.

If someone can watch an entire season of a TV series in one day, doesnt that show an incredible attention span?

The magic of America is that we're a free and open society with a mixed population. Part of our security is our freedom.

The vital air of friendship is composed of confidence. Friendship perishes in proportion as this air diminishes.