I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards or crack pipes, but they have some really funny lines.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

It is not in numbers, but in unity, that our great strength lies.

Abba, Father, I adore You, I exalt You, I glorify You, I bow down before You. I worship You O God! I can't live without You. Jesus, Daddy, I ❤ You with all my heart.

We must either reduce the number of our engagements or increase the number of our troops.

Because people see violence on the movie screen, they're not going to go out and hold up a liquor store and kill somebody. It really doesn't correlate.

No mathematician should ever allow himself to forget that mathematics, more than any other art or science, is a young man's game

Ill natures, the more you aske them, the more they stick.

Although I have never been 100 lbs overweight, I know the effects of not feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Though a woman tempted man to eat, my dear Longfellow," said Holmes, "you never hear of Eve having to do with his drinking, for he took to that of his own notion.

To be well dressed is a little like being in love

People wait for something to happen in order to be happy; the key is to be happy regardless.