But one day, the things that make you free start to keep you down.

Any writer of horror needs to at least have a good, solid love of the genre. Also, good horror writers need to have a slightly twisted sense of humor. Without humor, horror just isn’t as good.

Tis hard to comprehend how one man can come to be master of many, equal to himself in right, unless it be by consent or by force.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, most of it bad.

It was a well-known fact that the richness of buttery foods led to the moral ruin and confusion of the intellect.

I only got into comedy to get laid

Monuments may be builded to express the affection or pride of friends, or to display their wealth, but they are only valuable for the characters which they perpetuate.

He who serves the public is a poor animal; he worries himself to death and no one thanks him for it.

You can live a lifetime in two years.